I was driving to work this morning. 8:17 I tweeted about seeing roadkill on the side of the road. I had to stop because as soon as I pull out of my block, a school zone starts. So, I drive up and have to stop directly by the dead skunk. It's death snuck into my car, and found it's way in my nose for the rest of the day. Poor animal.
And then I think, if it was a dead chicken - someone would have cooked it and ate it. I am turned off from meat at the moment.
But, to get to the root of this post: I am having a rather shitty day.
I just want to pull my hair out and cry. I feel so twisted and fucking broken. I want to pick up a knife and puncture holes into my flesh. I have urges time to time but I resist because I know it's so wrong. It's so wrong to harm myself. There are other outlets but nothing feels as good as the sting of sharp, blunt object.
Even the tears stinging the back of my eyelids are refusing to be a release. I am tired. I am so tired. Also, being in love with someone who you have no possible future with is so draining.
I hope tomorrow is better.
And then I think, if it was a dead chicken - someone would have cooked it and ate it. I am turned off from meat at the moment.
But, to get to the root of this post: I am having a rather shitty day.
I just want to pull my hair out and cry. I feel so twisted and fucking broken. I want to pick up a knife and puncture holes into my flesh. I have urges time to time but I resist because I know it's so wrong. It's so wrong to harm myself. There are other outlets but nothing feels as good as the sting of sharp, blunt object.
Even the tears stinging the back of my eyelids are refusing to be a release. I am tired. I am so tired. Also, being in love with someone who you have no possible future with is so draining.
I hope tomorrow is better.
